Therapist in Palo Alto, CA | Anxiety & Postpartum Depression Therapy
Many of the women I work with here have built impressive careers and even more impressive reputations, at startups, at Stanford, in medicine and law, yet privately they feel anxious, depleted, and quietly unsure if they can keep sustaining the pace. They are used to being the ones who figure things out, but underneath the achievement there is often a nervous system that has never been allowed to simply stop. I help women step outside constant performance and start attending to what is happening underneath it.
Along University Avenue's steady flow of meetings and coffee, out past the edges of Stanford's campus, through the shops of California Avenue, and along the marshy quiet of the Baylands, this city moves at the pace of constant innovation. Many clients here commute by Caltrain or navigate a life shaped entirely around achievement, from school admissions to career milestones. The same drive that built a remarkable career or a coveted acceptance letter can also become a relentless internal voice that never says enough is enough.
In a place built on outperforming, admitting exhaustion can feel like falling behind an invisible curve everyone else seems to be ahead on. My virtual practice offers a different kind of achievement, learning to feel, rest, and receive instead of constantly producing. Here, beneath the accomplishment, there is finally room to set the performance down and come home to yourself.

How it works

Setting the Foundation

We begin by slowing down enough to notice what is happening beneath the accomplished, capable exterior many of my Palo Alto clients bring into session. Rather than rushing toward the next achievement to chase, we take time to understand the perfectionism and self criticism that keep your nervous system on constant alert. This unhurried pace becomes the foundation for everything that follows.

Building Awareness and Understanding

From there, we begin naming what has quietly been building beneath the surface, the invisible pressure, the guilt, the exhaustion of never feeling like enough is enough. This stage favors noticing over achieving, learning to catch old patterns as they arise instead of outrunning them. Awareness becomes the turning point where real change starts to feel possible.

Creating Change and Cultivating Growth

As that awareness deepens, we shift toward practicing new ways of responding rooted in steadiness rather than achievement. Many women find they need less energy to hold everything together and have more left for the people and moments that matter most. This is ongoing, unhurried work that continues shaping your life well beyond our sessions.

Explore my therapy services and specialization

Many of the women who find their way here are exceptionally accomplished, at work, at school, in their community, yet privately anxious, overstimulated, and unsure how much longer they can keep performing calm. Together we explore what sits beneath that impressive exterior: the resentment, the guilt, the constant internal narration of everything left undone. Many women describe finally feeling room to breathe as our work continues. Sessions happen virtually, fitting around a demanding Palo Alto schedule, and this work is never about achieving more. It is about finally coming home to yourself.
For many women here, anxiety wears the face of ambition, always preparing for the next milestone while quietly cycling through worst case scenarios underneath. That constant forward motion often masks a nervous system that never gets to fully rest. We create space to notice these patterns without judgment, gradually loosening the grip anxious thoughts hold over daily decisions. Rather than trying to achieve your way past the anxiety, we explore what it has been trying to protect you from. Offered virtually around a demanding schedule, this work helps quiet the internal noise even while your responsibilities stay just as full.
Being endlessly capable at work and in the community often leaves little energy for the relationships closest to you. Many women feel disconnected from family or the people closest to them, even while everyone assumes the relationships are thriving. Together we look at the patterns that keep conversations circling, the resentment that builds when needs go unspoken, and the walls that form when there is nothing left to give. This is honest work aimed at reconnection, not blame. Available virtually, this support helps rebuild real emotional closeness beyond a shared calendar.
Stress here often hides behind achievement, another milestone reached, another goal met, until even ordinary tasks start to feel disproportionately heavy. Many clients keep performing well outwardly while feeling foggy and depleted within. We slow down together to understand what your mind and body have actually been holding, rather than adding one more accomplishment to chase. This work is about restoring ease and choice, not achieving even more. A steady, unhurried weekly space becomes its own form of relief, helping you meet pressure with more clarity and considerably less internal static.
A new role, a move, a shifting relationship, or a new chapter of motherhood often stirs up far more than logistics. Many women feel a quiet grief or uncertainty beneath the practical decisions, even while appearing entirely in control to colleagues and friends. We use this time to understand what is actually shifting inside you rather than rushing to achieve clarity right away. There is room here for excitement and loss to exist side by side. This work is offered virtually, meeting you wherever this season finds you, helping you move through change with more steadiness and self trust.
Early motherhood can bring a heaviness that catches even the most prepared, accomplished women off guard. Even while loving her baby deeply, a woman might carry worry, numbness, or a tension that never quite lets go. Here we make space for intrusive thoughts and exhaustion that rarely get spoken about honestly. Together we explore what your mind and body are trying to communicate beneath the fog. This support is available virtually, fitting around feeding schedules and unpredictable naps, oriented toward helping you feel like yourself again, one gentle step at a time.
Pregnancy brings enormous physical and emotional change, and for many women it also brings anxiety and identity questions no achievement can fully prepare you for. Even amid excitement, an undercurrent of fear can quietly take hold. Together we make space for what is shifting inside you emotionally and physically, including fears about birth and motherhood that do not fit into a tidy conversation. This is grounded space to feel supported, not simply informed. Sessions are offered virtually throughout pregnancy, helping you feel connected and steady as you prepare for whatever comes next.
Sometimes the hardest part is not the challenge itself but the loop of thoughts about what it means for your future. Many women know logically a fear is unlikely, yet the feeling of it stays lodged in the body regardless of how well prepared they are. This work is about changing your relationship to those thoughts rather than trying to outperform them. We practice noticing a difficult thought as simply a thought, so it gradually loses its grip on your day. Offered virtually, this approach frees up energy spent trying to control every feeling, helping you build a life that feels genuinely yours, worry included.

I provide therapy in Palo Alto and nearby areas

I offer virtual therapy to women throughout Palo Alto, from the shops along University Avenue to the streets surrounding Stanford and the quiet paths of the Baylands. Whether your days move between meetings, a Caltrain commute, or school pickups near California Avenue, this is a steady space to explore your emotional world with care. Support is available for the ambition, exhaustion, and quiet overwhelm that so often live just beneath an accomplished surface.

Testimonials

"Tamara is an engaged and nurturing therapist. Her style is warm, nonjudgemental and welcoming. Tamara helps her clients feel heard, accepted and understood so that they can feel empowered to move forward towards their goals and dreams. I highly recommend working with her! "

Therese Yrani LMFT

"Tamara is an outstanding therapist. She has been a trusted colleague for many years- I trust and value her insights and clinical skills. She is an exceptionally caring and attuned therapist who I couldn't recommend more! "

Christine Treski LMFT

"Tamara's compassionate approach and deep expertise in women's mental health make her an exceptional therapist. As a former colleague, I witnessed her unique ability to create a safe space where clients feel truly heard and supported."

Janny Condie LMFT

Hello, I'm Tamara Pancoe, therapist serving Palo Alto
I'm Tamara Pancoe, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Perinatal Mental Health Certified clinician supporting women throughout Palo Alto and the greater Bay Area. My own healing journey taught me what it means to finally be seen and validated, and that experience shapes every session I hold today. I created this virtual practice as a steady, unhurried space for women who look like they have it together but feel anxious and depleted beneath the surface. This is a soft place to land, a place to exhale, a place to come home to yourself.
Smiling woman in a black top and jeans sitting on a couch, holding a mug by a window with mountain views

Frequently asked questions

  • Do you accept insurance?

    I’m considered an out-of-network provider, which means you pay for sessions directly and can request reimbursement from your insurance company. If you have out-of-network benefits, I can provide a superbill (an itemized receipt) each month that you can submit to your insurance for potential reimbursement.


    Please note that insurance companies require a mental health diagnosis to process claims. This means that you will first need to qualify for a mental health diagnosis before I can provide a superbill. 


    To check your out-of-network benefits, you can call your insurance provider and ask:

    • Do I have out-of-network mental health coverage?
    • What is my deductible and have I met it?
    • What percentage of my session fee will be reimbursed?
    • Do I need pre-authorization for therapy?

    Many clients find that their insurance reimburses a portion of their session fees, making therapy more affordable.

  • What if I don’t want a diagnosis shared with my insurance?

    That’s completely okay. If you prefer not to submit claims for reimbursement, your diagnosis will remain private and will not be shared with anyone outside of our work together. Many clients choose to pay privately for this reason, as it allows for complete confidentiality and freedom from insurance requirements.

  • How does virtual therapy work?

    Virtual therapy allows us to meet from the comfort and privacy of your own space. Sessions take place on a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform designed specifically for therapy. 


    All you need is a stable internet connection and a quiet, comfortable space where you can talk freely. Many clients find that meeting virtually makes it easier to stay consistent with therapy, without the added stress of travel or scheduling. 

  • Session Fees and Payment

    Each therapy session is 50 minutes and billed at a rate of $200 per session. Payment is due at the time of each session and can be made by credit card, debit card, or HSA/FSA card through a secure online system.


    If you ever need to adjust your schedule, please provide at least 24 hours’ notice to avoid a late cancellation fee.

  • Still Have Questions?

    If you have any other questions about fees, scheduling, or what to expect, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m happy to answer your questions before we begin so you can feel informed, comfortable, and confident about starting therapy.